Best Computer Newbie Phrases

These are actual things we've heard from computer newbies. Scary but true.

* Intercom Explorer
* Can you get RAM on a CD?
* I think I deleted the internet.
* Whenever I'm on the phone, I can't dial up. I think that's a bug.
* I can't find my desktop!
* Windows Me 2000
* It says "webmasteratalteringtime.com" isn't a valid email address!
* My computer is performing illegal operations! Am I in trouble?
* I think it might be a problem with the soft drive.
* When I print, the holes are on the wrong side... I think I need to get the printer repaired.
* How do I download more ink for my printer?
* Outback Express
* I don't think my keyboard has an "any" key.
* Do I have to shut down the computer before I restart?
* Noo! My taskbar is really big again! Why me?!
* Windows HP
* I can never remember... do CDs go in label side up or down?
* Are the numbers supposed to be in lowercase too?
* Desktop eh? Is that under Programs?
* It won't let me type my password... all I get is black dots.