Marraige-highway 2 hell !!!!

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!

-- Anonymous

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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

-- Oscar Wilde

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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

-- Scottish Proverb

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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

-- Sam Kinison

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A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for
free.

-- Anonymous

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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

-- H. L.Mencken

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Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die
earlier.

-- H. L. Mencken

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"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle."
- U2

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- Marriage is a three-ring circus:
--engagement ring
--wedding ring
--suffering

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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way
back home always.

-- Anonymous

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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

-- Anonymous

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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.

-- Anonymous

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She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the
mud fell off.

--Anonymous

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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."

-- Anonymous

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Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to get
to married. He says "the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs....."

-- Anonymous

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after u let him in!

-- Anonymous

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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly parted mother and
started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another
man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before.For whom do you mourn so Deeply? A child? A parent?
"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied "My wife's
first husband."

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A couple came upon a wishing well.
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much,
fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled " It really works ! "

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A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 10 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left open. She peeks inside and sees 3 eggs and $1,000.
She confronts her husband and asks for an explanation. He explains "Every time I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg in the drawer." She figures 3 times in 10 years isn't bad and asks "But what about the $1,000?" He replied "Whenever I got a dozen eggs, I sold them."

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The doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast.
As he stormed out of the house, the man angrily yelled to his
wife,"You aren't that good in bed either!"
By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phonedhome. After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answered the phone.
"What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?"
"I was in bed."
"What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?"
"Getting a second opinion."